E-mails from a hacker

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We heard from a computer hacker who (supposedly) intercepted an e-mail from a person reported to have moved to Bonners Ferry, ldaho. Here are some excerpts:

December 20 - Dear Tom. Arrived in Bonners Ferry and saw our first real snow today. Mary a I set by the picture window, sipping hot cider, watching the beautiful snow drift down. Any luck selling our house in San Jose?

December 21 - It’s me again, Tom. We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a sight! Every tree and shrub was covered with a beautiful white mantle. Shoveled snow for the first time in years and l just loved it. L shoveled both the driveway and sidewalk. Later the snowplow came along and accidentally covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. l waved back and shoveled it again.

December 22 - Dear Tom. I’m sure thankful that l live in Bonners Ferry. Spokane and Coeur d’Alene got an awful ice storm and all we got was a couple feet of snow. Sure, some of my trees were damaged and the storage shed was flattened, but that’s a small price to pay for living her in Bonners. The snowplow guy came by again and did his little thing with the driveway.

December 23 - Tom - Got just warm enough today to drizzle on the snow and turn it into brown slush. Then it got cold and turned to ice. Fell on my butt in the driveway trying to chisel through the snowplow’s mess. More damned snow on the way according to the weather reports. Snow is now rump deep to a tall Indian.

December 24 - Tom lt just never warms up here! Had to sell the cars and get a 4x4 SUV in order to take Mary to work. Slid into a guardrail the first trip down Peterson hill and bounced off it and totaled a 1978 Yugo. About a thousand dollars in damage to SUV and the Yugo driver said he is a lawyer and will sue me. Got another two feet of white stuff last night and then the neighbor’s roof unloaded on my driveway. The SUV was covered. All l can see is part of the roof. More snow due today and that damned snowplow came by twice. Now I’ve got four feet of icy slush to shovel.

December 25 - Dear Tom. Power was off all night Mary and I slept in every stitch of clothing we own just trying to keep warm. I found an old Kerosene heater in the garage and fired that up. Damned near set the house on fire. Got up this morning to another foot of that white crap. After I shoveled out the drive, the snowplow operator clobbered my mailbox with a load of snow. If I ever catch him l’ll squeeze the cider out of his Adam’s apple. I think he hides around the come and waits for me to finish shoveling and then comes down the street at a hundred miles an hour just to bury me.

December 26 - Tom. Yesterday we got snow, ice, and freezing rain. L wounded the snowplow driver with my pick-ax, but he got away. Mary left me this morning. It was 25 below last night. l can’t move my toes. The SUV won’t start. Haven’t seen the sun in weeks now. More snow on the way for the next two weeks according to the weather forecast. Forget selling the house in San Jose.

l’m moving back to California!

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